Orphan Sunday: What are you Waiting For?

I was honored to witness a miraculous thing this evening. The Esther's Hope Ministry at Mission Community Church of Gilbert, AZ hosted a celebration for families who are fostering, have adopted, or are interested in either. http://www.mission68.org/ Everything but the food was completely free including bounce houses, face painting, balloons, cotton candy, petting zoo, pony rides, a picture booth, and live music. The miracle was getting to see so many happy, smiling kids of all sizes and colors. When I think about the conditions that my two adopted children  were in years ago, I am simply speechless at the metamorphosis that has occurred before my very eyes. See, children don't just need their basic needs to be met, although that is certainly important, they also need the love and security of a family. The amazing thing is, that not only have they changed, so have I. For as many sacrifices that I have made, financially, emotionally, physically; the joy and abundance of love that I have received back from my children is ten fold. When Pat Robertson made his comments about adopted children being "weird", he was clearly very misinformed. We are all weird in our own way, and the vast majority of the most self-centered, poorly motivated youth that I have worked with were not adopted children. Has our path in international adoption been easy? Definitely it has not. With each of our children, we have had to work through different losses, histories, and memories that haunt them even if they cannot remember. We gave everything we had for Vanessa and we did not end up being the best fit to be her forever family. But in the process we did witness and facilitate incredible change and growth, change that helped prepare her for the family that was meant for her.

And so today on Orphan Sunday, I challenge you to answer the call that has been given. How can you make a difference to the 147 million orphans on this earth? It could be adoption, or foster care. But it could also be to sponsor a child internationally, to volunteer or mentor locally, or to support another family who you know who may be wanting to adopt or foster but are faced with the financial roadblock. It only takes one to make a difference one child at a time.

Refocusing, Revitalizing, Renewing.....

It is time to make a change. For my friends and family who are part of my Facebook world you have been able to witness this change. If you have noticed, my posts have switched to (mostly) non-issue worthy life events. Those things like pictures of my animals and random comments about daily life. See I need a break from the drama, a bridge to the calm. Don't get me wrong, I know the drama is still there. Our life is far from perfect, and the world is full of injustice, pain, and suffering. I have answered the call, I have gave till it hurt, and I have loved to the point of pain. Now I need to pull back for the sake of my remaining children, husband, and self. Hence the title of this post. It is time for me to refocus my priorities, revitalize my spirit and health, and renew what it means to be our family. For the purposes of this blog, the title has been returned to the original and I have removed information specific to adoption in Haiti. I am not willing to discuss specifics or opinions regarding our experience with our attempted Haiti adoption in a public forum. If you want to know our experience then please leave a comment. I will be reserving posts to this blog for information specific to post-adoption resources and information as well as worldwide and domestic humanitarian issues which impact orphans. To put it simply, it is time to do some serious compartmentalization.

Birthday Joy and Deep Thoughts

Our little Leo turned four on February 2nd, well according to us anyways! You see we have not been able to get his US birth date aligned with what his medical and orphanage records indicate from Rwanda. The problem is that when our case was approved in Rwandan court they listed the day that he arrived to the orphanage as his birth date. Based on his weight, picture, and a letter from the head nun at the orphanage we know he is at least 6 months older. His growth is now also catching up to that of a 4 year old. His measurements when he came home placed him at the 25th percentile for weight and less then 1st percentile for height. I am happy to report that when I measured him this week he is now at the 50th percentile for both height and weight (for age 4). I could not believe it! Here I had been thinking that he has not grown all that much in the last year but I guess when it happens right before your eyes it is easy to not see the change. He has actually grown almost 6 inches in height in the last year!!!!! He was soooooo excited about his birthday presents and cake. Ever since his big brother's b-day back in November he has been asking for his very own birthday cake. His facial expressions caught on camera where priceless.

It is completely amazing to me when I think of where my little boy came from and what he has survived. I can only imagine what desperation led his birth mother to abandon him. I am confident that she cared because she left him somewhere where he would be found. And found he was! He was taken in by the loving hands of the nuns and nannies at the Home of Hope Orphanage (the one run by the sisters of Calcutta) in Kigali, Rwanda. I still remember being told when we met him, that upon his arrival to the orphanage "He was so so skinny, so so skinny...". And that he was. Perhaps this is why his birth mother made the difficult choice of handing him over to fate, knowing that she did not have the resources to care for him properly. I can only thank the Lord that it was not to late when he was found and not only did he survive, he has thrived! Yes, many days my son exhausts me with his energy and curiosity but over and over again I remind myself that it is that energy and enthusiasm for life that makes him so incredibly amazing. I wish that his birth mother could see him, that she could have some acceptance in knowing that he is o.k. I regret that we will never know her or his birth father's story, or if he has brothers and sisters in Rwanda. I am sure she that when she made that fateful decision, that she could not have ever imagined that he would not only be saved but would take a journey across the world to his forever family. Whatever her circumstances were, I am so grateful that she made the choice to give him life.

My Wish

I was talking with the kids today about the significance of today's date my eldest son decided that if you make a wish at 10pm on October 10th, 2010 that it will come true. So here is trying:

My wish is that our family stays healthy, happy and safe for as long as possible and that everything works out (soon) for us to make a huge difference in the life of one very special little girl who we are waiting to join us, and just maybe we will really luck out and be able to sell our house without losing money and find a deal on a new house that will be big enough for our growing family plus have room to spare for guests to stay. And if I could throw a few more things in there, I wish that we will find jobs closure to where we want to live without taking a paycut and on the side I wish that I will be able to find the direction that I have been seeking to continue my child-psych consultation work with orphanages in Haiti and Africa. And, I wish that MORE families are inspired to adopt, and to do this with the education and bravery that they will need because seriously there are to many kids waiting for their forever family, at every corner of the world. I also wish that birth parents who are able to care for their children do so rather then being manipulated into relinquishing their rights without knowing what they are getting into. And if I could also throw one more really important thing in there, please stop all mistreatment of children in this world. There are no excuses for why this cannot happen.  Maybe I should also wish for the eyes and hearts of every adult in this world to be opened, opened to helping and loving those less fortunate than them, to start living for the greater good rather than themselves.

O.k, that is not so much to ask for now is it?

Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy. I have been stressed and really can't put my finger on why other then that my soul is uneasy. I wish I could do more, be more, have more so that I could give more. I look around and see those who clearly live their lives for themselves. I am not sure at what point it happened, but I am not one of those people. Some would say I probably need to seriously spend a little more time taking care of myself and maybe they are right. But how does one do that when you have seen some of the worst places to live in the world? There is a qoute that I used to have at the end of my email and it said this:

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand." Woodrow Wilson

Whether you like Woodrow Wilson or not, that is some insightful wisdom. Indeed I believe that we are each here on earth for a reason. Sometimes I get frustrated that others do not have the same passion for the orphans of the world that I do. I was frustrated today when my eldest son said they voted at his camp for which organization to hold a fundraiser for. He campaigned for the orphanage in Haiti but lost out to nearly everyone agreeing to instead raise money for a well-known non-profit in the US which I know for a fact receives a ton of money from corporate donors. It is not uncommon for people to comment to me that there are needs here in the US, my response is that children do not die of starvation or live their lives with curable disabling conditions in the US. But perhaps I need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and remind myself that we are each here for a reason and a purpose. I hope that whether it be through this blog, through my travels, or through my talks with others that I am able to open up the eyes of others to see the plight of orphans in the world. While in Haiti we were touched by a mission that is greater then ourselves and one that we are firmly committed to. I can't give out the details now but in time I believe that it will all work out and that miracles will happen before our very eyes.

Article: Haiti Still Waiting....

The link to this article:

 http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-johnson-haiti-20100625,0,4494526.story

was posted by the wonderful women who coordinates missionary teams at the orphanage that we worked at, on her blog. It highlights everything I saw and heard while in Haiti. When I tell people what I saw they are often in disbelief because there has been so much media attention around all the money that has been donated to the Haiti relief effort. I am not going to hypothesize where that money is right now. The important thing is that the world understands that Haiti is in desperate need of recovery. Seriously, the children cannot wait. Living in a overcrowded tent camp during the rainy season, when Malaria is rampant, is no place for a child. Then add to the likely quick spread of disease give the living conditions and I fear for the youngest and most vulnerable. Haiti already has a very high infant death rate and the numbers could get very grim in the current situation.

+ The pictures posted here, I took of the tent camps by our hotel and around the city of Port au Prince.

The Hardest Part

I should add to my previous post that the hardest part of this whole moving thing is that our plans to adopt again are now on hold. The honest fact is that adoption is expensive and so is buying a house and we can't afford both at the same time. If you have been following my blog for awhile you know that we had intended to adopt two children from Rwanda, a toddler and a infant. Due to various reasons, mostly that we had made the mistake of wording our request for one or two related children we were matched with only one child. I am glad it worked out this way because our son is completely amazing. I can't imagine my life now without him. My heart also aches for the little faces that we saw at the orphanage, the ones that we left behind. We have not actually decided which country we will adopt from next time. We have been looking into the DRC and Lesotho and I have continued following adoptions in Rwanda. At least for Rwanda it appears that so many US agencies are advertising themselves as facilitating adoptions there (despite Rwanda not permitting any adoption agency staff to work in their country) that the number of prospective adoptive families have exploded. My guess is that the Ministry of Gender and Family Services is a bit overwhelmed by the stacks of files, at least I would be. I pray that this does not slow down the process, that the children who we saw will all find their forever families. As far as our family, I know we are not yet complete, I can feel it. In the meantime we will continue to assist in our childrens' birth countries the best that we can. I am also doing alot of thinking about how I could use my professional and personal experiences to improve the quality of living for orphans throughout the world. Perhaps some form of a consultation service for orphanages addressing the developmental and mental health needs of the children living there?

Change

I don't particularly enjoy change, I am a creature of habit. I do however understand that change is a part of life. Actually, maybe it is not necessarily change that I do not like, but the kind of change that is out of my control. I love change that involves the expansion of our family as well as our horizons. I had no fears about adopting either of our children or traveling on a plane for 18 hours to the other end of the world to visit unfamiliar countries with bags full of donations. So why is it that the idea of moving my family 2 hours away gives me extreme anxiety? Oh, yeah this is all coming about because of good news. My husband was offered a new teaching position at a "well to do" charter school in a Denver area suburb. Problem is that the school is not within a commuting distance, well not unless we want him to spend 4 hours a day driving. The thing is, it really is about time that we move. We have grown beyond a comfortable size for our home and I am eager to be closer to more cultural activities for my kids. The problem with all of this is that the economy in CO still sucks. If we are lucky we will sell our house by the end of the summer and break even. Of course the flip side of this is that it is a buyers market so truly I should be excited about the fact that we may be able to walk into a very large home in a nice neighborhood for a reasonable price. The blessing is that we both have the summer of to enjoy it with our kids and take care of all this. I also have come across a oppurtunity to do a short mission trip to Haiti to assist children and staff at a orphanage with trauma. I really want to go but have not comitted as there are so many unknowns for my family right now. it is times like this that I have to remind myself to sit back, take a deep breath and remember that God does really have a plan for me. When I was going through the last miscarriage a kind fellow adoptive mom commented that God must have big plans for me, to trust me with so much heartache. Perhaps she is right, I just wish it was not so hard and that I knew the outcome.

Growing in My Heart

Of all the things in my life that I have accomplished; work, a PhD, monetary assets, travel; my children are my proudest accomplishment. To add to this, I feel no different for my eldest birth son as I do for my two adopted children. This is often hard for people to understand. I will receive comments from others, like "It is so hard with my own child I don't know how you do it." I know they don't mean what they are saying so I don't take it personally. Yes, international adoption is not easy. The paperwork is hard, and it can be expensive and of course children who have been malnourished, neglected, and/or traumatized will have some level of need. But the stories that make the media, those of extreme cases of Reactive Attachment Disorder just are not representative of our personal experience. The behaviors that my adopted children have displayed are completely logical knowing what they experienced. Of course an abandoned child will be afraid to sleep alone, of course a previously malnourished child will scream their head of if somone touches his or her food, of course a child who has lived in a orphanage and had no control over his or her life will try to control everything that he can now that he has the chance. I expected these things and in most cases the behaviors have been less extreme then what I was prepared for.

What I see most often, about 98% of the time are happy, resilient children who are so grateful to experience a second chance at life. Seriously, my two youngest kids are thrilled by the simplest of things, thrilled simply to have a loving adult give them attention and love. And the transformation that I have seen in them is short of a miracle. My daughter who has been home for two years now has metamorphed from a tiny 24 pound child who looked like a 2 year old and spoke no English, to a average sized 6 year old who is attending full-day kindergarten and reading and writing and speaking fluent English. My youngest son who has only been with us for 4 months has gone from a quite and moody little guy to a talkative (even if it is jibberish), charismatic, energetic, and easygoing toddler. Despite what the news likes to show, any expert in the field of pediatrics will tell you that the vast majority of internationally adopted children thrive in their adoptive homes. So many people tell me how lucky my children are, how we saved them. Saved them from starvation, from illness, from a life on the streets or in a orphanage. Certainly we have given them a forever family and all that comes with that, love, attention, a home, nutrition, and education. But the truth is that I am the one who has benefited. My children and the process of adopting them and visiting their beautiful birth countries changed me. Changed me for the better, maybe even saved me. Through them I have learned to be more compassionate, more patient, more motivated to make the world a better place and not to take anything for granted. I truly cannot imagine my life without them.

The people who say that nothing good comes out of international adoption, well I feel sorry for them. Sorry that they do not see what I see. Sorry that they cannot step out of their little worlds to meet our children, to truly educate themselves about the complicated issues that they are so quick to make judgements on, to learn about the countries where my children come from, to experience the transformations that I have witnessed. It is their loss.

Dark Times

As you can see I have not posted in awhile now. I have been debating on wether to talk about these things or not but I think I need to. I need to talk about it to remind myself that I am not alone and to remind others in similar circumstances that they are not alone. There are several things that we are dealing with in our family right now. The first shock came several weeks ago when my husband was informed that his Science teaching position would no longer exist next year. He was one of 17 teachers to loose his job at the high school that he works at in a Denver Metro school district. But that is just the start, school districts across CO are laying off hundreds of teachers each, due to drastic budget cuts that the state put in place. What this is going to mean for our school systems I don't know yet. For sure there are going to be larger class sizes and fewer resources to go around a already stressed system. So if the stress of your spouse loosing his job is not enough I also learned that I would be experiencing my 6th miscarriage.

Miscarriage. It is a word that still does not roll easily off of my tongue and not something that I openly talk about very often. My first pregnancy was a early miscarriage, we lost the baby at around 8 weeks for no apparant reason. I was shocked and all the doctor's told me was that it was common for first pregnancies (and now based on how many women I have talked to who have experienced this I agree). Then came pregnancy #2 and I tried to do everything right and the same scenario. Another baby lost at around 7 to 8 weeks gestation. Then came my son, the miracle that neither I nor the doctor's will every understand. I did everyhting the same for him as the others, took the vitamins and progesterone supplements and 9 months later we had a plump 9 pound 12 ounce boy full of life and energy. So of course I thought that I would not have any problems carrying babies after that. Because of graduate school we did not try again untill I was now in my 30s. I was devasted when I went in for my first ultrasound for pregnancy number 4 and at 6 weeks gestation there was no fetal development. And so I learned the definition of a blighted ovum. About one more year later another blighted ovum and then another. So when I got pregnant this last time I really did not have high expectations but there is always that hope that if my son made it into this world then maybe there is one more just waiting to have his or her chance. Blood tests showed that my HCG levels were low but at 6 weeks gestation the ultrasound tech was excited with me to see a fetal pole and a strong beating heartbeat. I went back two weeks later and that little heartbeat had fell silent. Now I cannot even begin to describe what that feels like to see your child's hear beating and then just like that it is gone, gone forever. All those hopes and dreams for what our family was going to look like next gone in a second.

I have spent the last few weeks doing a lot of sitting by myself and having some one-way conversations with God. To many involve the same thing, why, why, why me?! What did I do wrong? I have felt sad, angry, and at times strangely numb and apathetic. It did not really help that I had to go back to work at around this time. And that is something I am good at, good at doing my job and shoveing my feelings deep inside as if there is nothing wrong. Of course I have not received the answers to my questions. I want to know things. I want to know when does the soul enter the body. If it is when that heart starts beating then I sure hope that my babies get a second chance at experiencing this magnificant world. One thing I do know is that as hard as this is I am learning lessons every time. Reminders that life is not meant to be easy, there will be trials and tribulations and we do not get to choose what those things will be. All we can do is make the best out of the circumstances and the resources that we have. And certainly I am blessed. I find comfort in knowing that I have three beautiful children and I love them all the same, no matter how they entered into my world. I am blessed that I have a husband who would do anything for me and has made sacrifices during his own time of stress to take care of me. I am blessed that I have a understanding extended family. And I am blessed by my friends and church family who have stepped in to assist us in the last week when I have had some related medical issues (2 very expensive trips to the ER in one week and a spinal headache that I cannot even describe the pain on top of missed work without pay). I need to continue to take time for my body, my heart, and my soul to heal but I know that there is a plan for my life. We had already intended on adopting again so that our daughter would have a baby sister. When and were that will take place I don't yet know for sure but I definately feel that it is what we are meant to do out of this loss.

Challenging Thoughts on MLK Day

When I made the decision to adopt children from countries in Africa I was not color blind. I knew that raising African American children in a Caucasian family would sometimes be a challenge. I knew that my children would at points in their lives be judged by the color of their skin. We live in a fairly conservative community and it is not at all rare for us to walk into a store or a restaurant and get full blown and obvious stares from people (usually younger or older white men).
I have learned to ignore it, but I often wonder what is going on in their heads? The reason I bring this up is that I am very conscious of teaching all of my children not only about Ethiopian and Rwandan culture but also African American history. I believe that their identities depend on it and then they can make the choices that they need to make when they are ready.

So today we attended a MLK celebration organized by the University of Northern Colorado. It was moving and thought provoking but what was missing was a large number of people. We live in a community highly affected by racial tension, primarily targeted at the growing Mexican American population and we also have a growing number of refugees from various African countries now competing between minority groups for jobs. The tension is sometimes obvious but to often the racial divides are hidden or ignored by those of us who live comfortable white middle class lives.
Is this why there were so few people there? I think the messages and progress that Dr. King made are still very relevant today. Not only do I dream that my own children will someday not be judged by the color of their skin but I also dream of a world in which people are not hated and persecuted for all the other things that define us. Research has proven that we do not choose all of these things, they choose us, by the families that we are born (or adopted) into and the genetics that we are unwillingly handed. When I took my first class in my masters counseling program on multicultural counseling I was openly asked to identify one of my own prejudices and to write about it. That was not easy but it was the first step to teaching myself and developing tolerance. This would be a really great activity for MLK day, to identify a prejudice that you still carry and to research and learn and work towards tolerance and acceptance. Just something to think about.

On another note, I am pleased to see that some of the orphans in process of being adopted from Haiti have already arrived to the US on humanitarian visas or their cases are in process. Tonight while watching the local Denver 9 News they featured a family from Loveland, CO who was in Florida and just last night received custody of their two children from Haiti. If anyone in CO knows their contact info, drop me a line as I am trying to connect with as many Northern CO interracial adoptive families as possible. You can see a separate video from CNN with a update on children being moved out of BRESMA orphanage at http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2010/01/17/tuchman.haiti.orphans.cnn
I don't think the same little girl that they speak of in this video as going to CO is the same child who I saw on the local news.

I Wonder

It has been two weeks since our approval letter was signed and official. This leaves me wondering what is happening across the world. Wondering if our file has already been taken to the orphanage. Wondering if our child has already been considered. I know that the nuns love every child and pray over the choice. My heart is with them as they take on this heavy but joyous task. I know that a part of me is already there.


I had a dream about both of my children before they came to me. The week before my son was born I dreamed of a chubby crying baby and in the operating room he looked just as he had in my dream. I also had a dream of my daughter. About a month before we received her referral, around the same time that she would have arrived to the care center in Addis Ababa I had a dream in which I saw a small little girl with a shaved head, she was with several adults and she was afraid and crying. Many months ago, back in March I had a very vivid dream of two small children, a boy and a girl, they were alone and waiting. I have not dreamed of them since but my mother who has always had similar dreams called me up a few weeks ago to ask if we had heard anything on the adoption. She had dreamt that we received a little girl. Perhaps they are all somehow connected to us. I am eager to see his or her face.

Accepting Life

We have experienced some misfortune today, and without sharing the details with the world, I will just say that I have found myself in the position of asking "Why me?, Why us?, Why? Why!". Grief and loss is a powerful thing, it can pull you down and some people never get back up again. Today I found myself wrapped in fear and despair. I let it in, felt it's power, and then kicked it back out again. I know to many people who have let grief, sadness, and fear overtake their lives. Somewhere along the line I decided that I was not going to be one of those people. I am good at researching and this is what I do when I face a problem. I look for a solution and I keep looking until I find one. As a psychologist I tend to believe that things happen the way they do for a reason, that A leads to B. But I also fully know that very bad things can happen simply because you are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Afterall, I am pretty sure that God never promised that life would be easy. For whatever reason bad things do happen and when they do we can't just give up.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
Helen KellerUS blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)

Mixed Feelings on Mother's Day

Mother's Day was nice, busy, and full of all types of emotion. Both sets of grandparents where here, because it was also my graduation weekend. We went to church, lunch, checked out a new garden nursery, took the kids swimming at the hotel, and then back to the house for pizza and a cake to celebrate Tensae's 5th birthday (since we corrected her age and received her new birth certificate). I am so blessed to be the mother of my two wonderful children and at the same time I felt a lot of grief on Mother's Day for the losses that my daughter and her birth family have endured.

I wish I had a picture of her birth mother for her, I wish I knew more so that I could answer all those questions that will come some day, but most of all I pray that her remaining family members are safe and healthy in Ethiopia. International adoption is not a easy process, logistically or emotionally. I know that before I met my daughter, very brave and loving people made very difficult decisions that changed their and her fate. I am not one to say that "She was perfect or made for our family", because that would mean that people were lost so that she could be ours and I don't think that is how things work. Is it a miracle that, we went into the adoption plan not knowing how it would work out and we received so much support to make this possible and she just turned out to have a personality that does fit in very well with our family and she is thriving? Yes I think that is a huge miracle that all the pieces fell into place and perhaps yes, God had a plan in making this happen once her fate had been irreparably changed. But I still grieve for the losses that she has experienced and the answers that she will never have and the picture of her as a baby with her birth mother that I will never see. I am extremely grateful that I was entrusted to raise her as my child and I will someday take her back to visit her birth place in Ethiopia and teach her that I do know that her birth mother was wise, beautiful, brave and loving just like the child that we both have called daughter.

Emotions

Our paperwork has been in Rwanda for two weeks and already it feels like forever, although I certainly know from past experience that two weeks is a drop in the bucket. As I was admiring a coworker who is several months pregnant, it struck me yesterday just how different and the same the adoption experience is from the pregnancy experience. I have been through both so I have found myself making comparisons without even realizing it. I would say that certainly both experiences brought on a rollercoaster of emotions. On the one hand it is a little more reassuring to know that your child is inside of you growing. You are right there to feel the kicks and turns, and this was certainly the case with my son who was a very busy and BIG baby. I knew every minute that he was there and o.k. BUT there are certainly unknowns with pregnancy and I was just as filled with fear that something would go wrong. Would he be o.k., would the labor be o.k., what if I did something wrong? The what, if, and how’s can become overwhelming at times. And so it also is with the adoption experience. I don't know if my future child/children are o.k. or what their needs are and I have no way of "checking in" on them. So in some ways it is the same, whether pregnancy or adoption, there are no guarantees and my love for my children is overwhelmingly the same. I have not met my next child/children but I already would do anything within my power to take care of them. What is different is the invisibility of the experience. I work with a teacher who is expecting and just started showing. Now everyone knows she is pregnant and they all know what to expect and when. But when I tell people I am adopting they don't really know what to say and of course at this point I don't know when, how, or who. And so I wait and I go through the emotions and preparation on a more silent scale but no less important or powerful then a visible pregnancy.

Thoughts on Earth Day

How interesting that today, on Earth Day, I came home to "flowers, frogs, and the smell of cow poop". Yes my bulbs survived our recent cold weather and rain and are flowing with all their splendor and strength. And the ditch by our house seems to have been overtaken by frogs. Now I have no idea where they came from but there are so many that you can hear their ribeting from blocks away! And you might be wondering what the smell is about? Well we live in a certain part of CO that smells like cow poop when the wind occasionally blows in just the right direction. It used to really bother me, but now I seemed to be used to it. Last summer my daughter kept saying to me "Where are the cows?!" So we might have to take a drive to see the mysterious smelly cows.

Speaking of cows, in my Earth Day research it appears that we would save a whole lot of energy, in the USA, if as a country we ate less meat. I took a test to determine my own "ecological footprint" and it was very eye opening. I have always thought of my family as fairly environmentally friendly, as my husband is a biologist/ecologist. We recycle everything we can, we have replaced our light bulbs with high efficiency bulbs, we grow a garden and eat all our left over food. But it appears that there is so much more that we could be doing. To take the test yourself go to: http://earthday.net/footprint/

Blessed to Be Stressed

Wow, as anyone who works in the public school system knows things get harder as we move into spring. I have been feeling a bit exhausted by the demands of my job lately and then somone gave me this really insightful quote by Mother Teresa:

"We, the unwilling, led by the unkowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing."

Geez if Mother Teresa admitted to feeling like that, maybe I am not doing so bad afterall?

On another note, it was one year ago this week that we were packing up to get ready to board a plane on 2/27/08 to fly to Ethiopia. Hmm I may need to recap our trip since I was not doing the blog thing last year.

Feeling Thankful

So today I am feeling thankful for all the wonderful people in my life. There is a saying among professionals in the field of psychology that "We stand on the shoulders of giants". In otherwords most of what we as professional psychologists know, we learned from the wise theorists who came before us. When it comes to being a mom I have learned, and sometimes the hard way, that the African Proverb "It takes a village to raise a child" could not be more true. The proverb is from Nigeria and it shares a similar meaning to many African cultures such as the Sukuma proverb "One knee does not bring up a child", and the Swahili proverb "One hand does not nurse a child." And so it is with admiration that today I would like put out there a thank you list to all of the people who have helped me in the last year. Some of them are near strangers and some probably know me better then I do.

Thank you to:

• My best friend who when I called her in a panic for help last week she was able to be where I needed her to be within minutes, no questions asked.
• The mothers adopting from or who have already adopted from Rwanda and whom I have just recently met out in cyberspace. They have already been a enormous source of support, encouragement, and information.
• All the Ethiopian adoptive mothers on the various internet forums that I have accessed for information. They were able to answer my dumb questions when I was new to so many things involved in international and trans-racial adoption.
• The adoption agency staff that has served us for our adoption experiences so far, and to our most recent homestudy social worker who was more then accomodating when we decided to change our country request.
• The medical professionals who have provided our daughter excellent care and guidance since coming home.
• All of my children's teachers who are compassionate, patient, and very well educated.
• My own teachers, and more recently to the faculty on my dissertation committee who have been great sources of support and information whenever needed.
• My extended family who have fully supported our higher education endevers and who responded with excitement to our adoption plans. They understand that doing things one at a time just is not our style.
• Our church community who has been there to help out when help is needed and who welcomes our family every week with open arms.
• My husband who is a wonderful father!
• All those that I have not mentioned but whose "shoulders I stand on" everyday without even knowing or giving credit to.