We witness a miracle each time a child enters a life. But those who must make their journey home across time and miles, growing in the hearts of those waiting to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny. And placed among us by God's own hands.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy. I have been stressed and really can't put my finger on why other then that my soul is uneasy. I wish I could do more, be more, have more so that I could give more. I look around and see those who clearly live their lives for themselves. I am not sure at what point it happened, but I am not one of those people. Some would say I probably need to seriously spend a little more time taking care of myself and maybe they are right. But how does one do that when you have seen some of the worst places to live in the world? There is a qoute that I used to have at the end of my email and it said this:

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand." Woodrow Wilson

Whether you like Woodrow Wilson or not, that is some insightful wisdom. Indeed I believe that we are each here on earth for a reason. Sometimes I get frustrated that others do not have the same passion for the orphans of the world that I do. I was frustrated today when my eldest son said they voted at his camp for which organization to hold a fundraiser for. He campaigned for the orphanage in Haiti but lost out to nearly everyone agreeing to instead raise money for a well-known non-profit in the US which I know for a fact receives a ton of money from corporate donors. It is not uncommon for people to comment to me that there are needs here in the US, my response is that children do not die of starvation or live their lives with curable disabling conditions in the US. But perhaps I need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and remind myself that we are each here for a reason and a purpose. I hope that whether it be through this blog, through my travels, or through my talks with others that I am able to open up the eyes of others to see the plight of orphans in the world. While in Haiti we were touched by a mission that is greater then ourselves and one that we are firmly committed to. I can't give out the details now but in time I believe that it will all work out and that miracles will happen before our very eyes.


  1. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I often times feel I am the only one who cares about someone other than myself. I wish I could do more for the orphans but I'm not sure how. Instead I try to support others buy purchasing things such as jewelry or t-shirts. And of course I sponsor a boy and we are working with our church to take a mission trip to Ethiopia but yet it doesn't feel like much. I find none of my friends or family can relate to me as I am a completely different person than I was 3 1/2 years ago. I feel like I live a double life if you would just to survive. I am rambling, sorry. Great post.

  2. "It is not uncommon for people to comment to me that there are needs here in the US, my response is that children do not die of starvation or live their lives with curable disabling conditions in the US."
    My husband just had this same conversation with someone a few days ago. How can Americans be so blind or so selfish about the needs of children in other countries. Great post. I am totally experiencing your same stress and heavy heart.

  3. Hi Kari,
    I hope it is OK to be contacting you this way. We are currently in the process of adopting from Rwanda and have used your blog as a resource. It has been very helpful and I want to thank you for that. We also live in Colorado. I have been trying to find other families in the area to connect with and have had very little luck. I was wondering if you knew of any African/Rwanda groups/families in the area? Maybe you live close by and we can get the kids together when we are home with our little one? I do have a few more questions for you if you don't mind emailing me.