Birthday Joy and Deep Thoughts

Our little Leo turned four on February 2nd, well according to us anyways! You see we have not been able to get his US birth date aligned with what his medical and orphanage records indicate from Rwanda. The problem is that when our case was approved in Rwandan court they listed the day that he arrived to the orphanage as his birth date. Based on his weight, picture, and a letter from the head nun at the orphanage we know he is at least 6 months older. His growth is now also catching up to that of a 4 year old. His measurements when he came home placed him at the 25th percentile for weight and less then 1st percentile for height. I am happy to report that when I measured him this week he is now at the 50th percentile for both height and weight (for age 4). I could not believe it! Here I had been thinking that he has not grown all that much in the last year but I guess when it happens right before your eyes it is easy to not see the change. He has actually grown almost 6 inches in height in the last year!!!!! He was soooooo excited about his birthday presents and cake. Ever since his big brother's b-day back in November he has been asking for his very own birthday cake. His facial expressions caught on camera where priceless.

It is completely amazing to me when I think of where my little boy came from and what he has survived. I can only imagine what desperation led his birth mother to abandon him. I am confident that she cared because she left him somewhere where he would be found. And found he was! He was taken in by the loving hands of the nuns and nannies at the Home of Hope Orphanage (the one run by the sisters of Calcutta) in Kigali, Rwanda. I still remember being told when we met him, that upon his arrival to the orphanage "He was so so skinny, so so skinny...". And that he was. Perhaps this is why his birth mother made the difficult choice of handing him over to fate, knowing that she did not have the resources to care for him properly. I can only thank the Lord that it was not to late when he was found and not only did he survive, he has thrived! Yes, many days my son exhausts me with his energy and curiosity but over and over again I remind myself that it is that energy and enthusiasm for life that makes him so incredibly amazing. I wish that his birth mother could see him, that she could have some acceptance in knowing that he is o.k. I regret that we will never know her or his birth father's story, or if he has brothers and sisters in Rwanda. I am sure she that when she made that fateful decision, that she could not have ever imagined that he would not only be saved but would take a journey across the world to his forever family. Whatever her circumstances were, I am so grateful that she made the choice to give him life.

Harvest Festival

We made our yearly visit to a local Harvest Festival held at Miller's Farm in Colorado today. We met up with some friends and had a fun and exhausting day. They have the typical corn maze, petting zoo, and straw bails to climb on but what makes Miller's farm unique is that you can pick your own vegetables. For $15 a person or $50 for a family of four (children 3 and under free) you get to enjoy all the activities plus a ride on the tractor pulled trailer to pick vegetables straight from the field (6, 10pound bags per person). When we first did this several years ago we were all about the experience, now we are also all about picking the best and max amount of vegetables possible to keep up with our growing family's appetite! Beats grocery store prices and the smiles on my kids' faces are priceless. As an added bonus, the owners of the farm are a adoptive family themselves. Check it out:

First pumpkin ever!

Were else can you slide down a giant pile off dirt in a laundry basket?

Asked me for the keys....

Nope mom did not climb to the top of the enormous straw pyramid.

In the petting zoo.

                                     I really thought we would be lost forever this time in the maze.

                                                       Bumpiest barrel train ride ever but still fun.

                                                      Yes those are snakes they are holding!

                                               My little man and his amazing gross motor skills.

Gee mom, these goats look like the ones in Ethiopia?

So proud of his cabbage on steroids.

So happy to help.

A very full van.

First Hair Cut

Leo's hair has grown really slow over the last 7 months but it finally was looking to long. I had put some twists in it before that looked cute but decided that since he was going back to school it was time for a 'big boy" hair cut. So in a effort to save $10 bucks at the hair salon I got out our razor and shaved it myself. It was super easy and he looks so cute. I actually think his face looks a little chubby compared to the referral pics we have of him when his hair was similarly short. I am trying to decide who he looks like?

Leo the Destroyer

When my eldest son and first child was a toddler I told everyone that he was a ton of work and it felt like I was parenting 3 children in one. Well looking back on it, I really had no clue because our youngest little man is doing a really great job of resetting my perspective on toddler boy behavior. Yes my eldest boy has always been precocious, curious and noisy but thankfully his activity level is actually on the lower side, in other words he was and is perfectly content to play by himself with his Lego's or read a book.

Our little Leo on the other hand is a force to be reckoned with. He is ALWAYS on the go and playing with toys is of little interest to him. People often ask me what does he like doing and honestly his two most favorite things since coming home have consistently been exploring any household item that he can get his hands on or extreme physical activity, as in running, climbing and wrestling his way through the day. Now I am sure those of you who do not see him on a regular basis are probably thinking "Is she being overly dramatic? He is so sweet at my house." And this is true, he was a little angel on his first trip to the dentist, sat there with his mouth open and did everything they told him to do. I however am not looking forward to the next trip to the dentist because in my experience once the novelty of a new situation has worn off for him his curiosity then takes over. Really I do appreciate that he feels safe enough with us to be himself. I just wish that he was perhaps a little less fearless, and yes I know that can also be a "attachment or orphanage" behavior. I really do think that there are a variety of things going on with him, but after being home for over 6 months now I am pretty confident that it is just part of his personality that he is just a really active, smart and curious guy. One of those people who can learn by watching something and then figure it out with his own two hands.

Unfortunately at age 3 this is resulting in alot of damage to my house. Someone should maybe come up with toddler household insurance. I told my older kids that we should start a list of things that Leo has destroyed or broken and present it to him when he gets that really great paying job someday as a aeronautical engineer or something. The list at this point would include but not be limited to:

• Broken toilet handle from playing with the toilet to much and taking it apart. The nice guy at Lowe's suggested buying a steel lever this time.
• Broke brother's ear bud headphones by taking them apart, perhaps in a attempt to make them fit smaller ears
• Spontaneously ran into the bedroom closet door breaking it off the hinges. Really I think he was  experiencing a Karate Kid moment.
• Just out of curiosity pulled on the venetian window blinds and busted one right out (Then rrepeated the above on the blinds downstairs just to be sure)
• Sprayed aerosol suntan lotion on the back of the lazy-boy rocking chair permanently staining the material
• Multiple broken sunglasses because they just do not bend the way that a 3 year old thinks they should
• The drain plug for the bathroom sink is no longer hooked to the lever, not really sure how me managed to dismantle it? But it happened right after trying to flush a towel down the toilet!
• Poured extra water into the Beta fish bowel allowing the fish enough leverage to jump out of his bowel to his death in the sink.
• Gee, why can't you take apart a VHS tape without destroying it anyways?
• No safety lock or door cover is safe in our house, every single one has been mastered by the youngest member of our household (after careful studying and observation on his part).
• And last but not least, Dad did a great job of saving the carpet after Leo decided to be like mom and remove the cover from the hidden paint can and paint his big brother's wall and floor.

Now seriously, girls just do not do these things to the same degree as boys. I once read a survey of mothers, I think from Parenting magazine and the consensus was that toddler boys where the hardest to parent. I think I completely agree but I also really think that for many of these incidents our son was actually trying to help by doing things that he had seen others do. He is so very proud of himself when he is a big helper. So a very important lesson learned in our house is that we do not let Leo see us do anything that we do not want him to attempt to do. Such as watching me remove the cover from a paint can with a screw driver! Also never, ever leave keys laying around the house because he knows what they are for and will take them out to the car. This unfortunately for the time being means locking ourselves into the house with hotel like locks installed on the top of the doors. Perhaps the sooner I can get this little guy into sports the better.

Thank Goodness It's Over

Kindergarten that is. Yes, I am overjoyed that my daughter made it through kindergarten because honestly it was not a easy year. Strangely I remember my oldest son having a really hard time in kindergarten to. Looking back at it, he just was not ready for the whole sit down, be quite, look at the teacher and learn how to read thing. And he was only in 1/2 day kindergarten and 1/2 day childcare. You know it is the environment when the two different teachers from each setting gave VERY different views of his behavior. I am grateful that in the first grade he had a very experienced older male teacher who showed him that school can be fun after all. His classroom was filled with plants, a bird, and at one point every child had a jar with a baby guppy and a cup with a baby spider plant on each of their desks. Three years later and he still has the same spider plant, now a big grown up plant hanging in his room. Thanks to that teacher my son did after all learn how to read and at the end of this year he is reading at a level at least two grade levels ahead. So now we are faced with new challenge of how to keep him interested in school for a whole new set of reasons. You see one of the fall backs of education reform is a emphasis on the utilization of evidenced based teaching practices. As a school psychologist I am all for this but in to many districts this has turned into a "cookie cutter" approach to teaching where teachers are forced to teach a set curriculum and it is nearly impossible to differentiate instruction in the classroom. This all leads back to my daughter's experience with kindergarten this year. Yes, the same "cookie cutter" approach is being applied to kindergarten.and did you know that one of the education standards is that a kindergartner should be able to write three complete and legible sentences independently at the end of the year! She attended a full day kindergarten program which was great for her academic growth but it definitely took a toll on her social and emotional growth. You see in our unnamed school district they think it is appropriate for kindergartners to have one 20 minute recess following their 20 minute lunch for the entire day. They also have a 2 hour literacy block and no surprise that the occurrence of poor attention and over activity during literacy instruction in kindergarten is not uncommon.  And of course since they have little time to actually have conversations with their peers extroverted kidos like mine get into trouble for talking during instruction. So the teachers use the very popular red, yellow, green system to alert students when their behavior is inappropriate. One warning and they move a clothespin that has their name on it to the yellow part of the chart, multiple warnings and their little identity is moved to red. There are supposed to be consequences linked to each move. Our daughter's teacher thought it was a good idea to notify parents of their student's behavior by writing the color that they ended their day in marker on their hand. A few months into school and this seemed to be the only thing our daughter cared about the first thing we saw her. I mean give the kid a break not only is she already being judged by the color of her skin (even though no one would admit it of course) but now she is being labeled every day with marker for every one to see. And I thought the Scarlett Letter was just a book? Seriously, I know a little bit about the research behind POSITIVE behavior support and developmentally appropriate education. But apparently in certain school districts no one cares what the real experts in child development have to say about how we are treating our youngest and most vulnerable children. Yes, we did intervene, after a not so easy conversation with our daughter's teacher she no longer got marker put in her hand. Interestingly, about the same time, the teacher also stopped returning my phone calls. Hmm, I wonder why? So as you can no see I am VERY happy that kindergarten is over and I am praying that she will luck out and have a amazing first grade teacher. A teacher who will not judge her for her looks or history but see that she is truly brilliant (also already reading past her level) and will feed her confidence not destroy her self-concept.

Wordless Wednesday

Well I guess it is about time that I share some new pics. As you can see our youngest little man is a busy guy. He is funny, happy, and always up to something. Don't worry, I put a safety lock on the dryer right after his new found fascination with crawling into the dryer everytime we went into the laundry room. Leo was actually the first to put the spoon on his nose at which time his older siblings had to compete of course. And yes, those are "Baby Legs" or more appropriately "Toddler Legwarmers" which I think are adorable but my husband thinks are ridiculous.

Little Leo Turns 3

Our little Leo turned 3 today. February 2nd was his estimated birth date from the orphanage and on his Rwanda medical records. We kept the celebration simple, a GI friendly dinner of chicken and rice, cake, and presents at home with just the five of us. He is not yet interested in a lot of toys but I found a small and durable remote control car for toddlers that he just pushed one button on the remote and it makes it work (New toys at Target in the "special toys" section). He was fascinated that the car moved and chased it around the living room then dad taught him how to drive it which was even more amusing because he screamed every time it moved.

The day was a little bittersweet however. I wish I knew his birth story, I wish I knew what he looked like when he was born and how much he weighed. I wish I could have seen all his firsts. I wish I had a baby picture of him. These things we will never have answers to but I will do my best to tell him his story when he is ready. My daughter likes to tease my eldest son about being a fat baby and then she asks me what she looked like when she was born. I tell her what I do not know but what was probably true, that she was so tiny and so beautiful. I then explain that while she did not grow in my tummy like her big brother did, she grew in a even more special way, she grew in my heart. And that is where Leo entered my life. The emotions that I went through and are still going through with him are very much like pregnancy and childbirth. And so today I can only imagine what we do not know.

Please Pray for Leo

Update: Thank you everyone for the info! They did test him for Celiac disease at the Children's Hospital and it was negative. I may try decreasing his gluten intake anyway as he probably is just not used to it. I think they ate primary rice, beans, eggs, bananas, maybe potatoes at the orphanage. I love the goat's milk idea and had never thought of it. He refuses to drink either soy milk or lactose free milk formula. One sip and the sippy cup is thrown to the side!

Our son's gastrointestinal issues are not at all improving. I have put him on probiotics and have him on the Brat Diet (mostly) plus eliminated all dairy products. We have completed three treatments for parasites thus I really hoped that things would get better. However, the last three days he is worse, way worse. He has woken up everyone morning with "blow-outs" and big messes for mom to clean up. They then continue on and off all day. This has been going on for the entire 7 weeks that he has been in our care and probably much longer. I am worried that he is going to end up dehydrated because he is getting more and more picky about what he will drink. At the same time we are worried about his nutrition since he has a growth hormone deficiency. I am fearful that until we get his gastro problems resolved he will never be able to maintain enough nutrition to start producing growth hormone again. I looked at the Pediasure and all the other nutrition drinks and they all have dairy in them so those are not a option. We are following up with his local doc this week, then will see a gastro specialist but I have this sense that they are not going to have any easy or quick answers.

To top off the frustration his doctor signed a letter for my employer saying that he cannot be in childcare yet for various reasons. I turned it into our HR who then took it to the committee who makes decisions about granting pay out of the temporary leave bank. And guess what they denied my application to the leave bank?! They did not feel that his medical issue was significant enough for me to receive pay out of the medical temporary leave bank which I am a member of. What do they think that I am making this up? Not only is he possibly still contagious, but he is malnourished and at risk for anemia and dehydration thus he is on a extremely limited diet. I would really like one of them to come to my house to deal with this and wash the cloth diapers. Yes, cloth diapers despite gastro problems, I know I am crazy but I can't stand the thought of all those disposables sitting in a landfill and we have successfully avoided any diaper rash issues.

Ok. so if anyone has any suggestions as to a diet other then the Brat diet I would be open to anything at this point.

One Month Home

We have been home now for over a month and Leo has been in our custody for over 6 weeks. We have definitely experienced ups and downs as we transition into our new routine. I am not going to sugar coat it because honestly adopting a toddler boy is no easy task. I am so grateful that this is our second adoption experience. There have been many struggles that I was prepared for but there have also been some things that have thrown me for a loop. There are some adoption books out there that try to give names to the different phases that you will go through as you adjust, the honeymoon phase, the transition phase, the testing phase, etc. I am not so sure that it happens that smoothly, it is a whole lot more like a spiral where you make some progress in one area only to fall back a little in another but then to spiral back up again. The hope of course is that you keep moving up and I think we are. So here is the low down on the big subjects that keep coming up when people ask me questions about how we are doing:

Communication: While in Rwanda our son said very little and when he would talk he would whisper. I would right away ask someone what he said in Kinyarwanda and often they would say that what he said did not make sense. I did not think much of it then. Since being home he talks all the time. I am usually able to make out what he wants through his gestures and facial expressions. His brother and sister are not as in tuned to reading his clues and so he tends to do more yelling at them which can be frustrating for everyone. We were a little worried when we had a appointment at the Denver Children's Hospital and the interpreter there said that he just was not making much sense. However he is now learning new English words every day and is spontaneously using about 10-12 English words on a regular basis. My theory is that the kids at the orphanage had a partially made up language.

Medical/Physical: The biggest concern has been loose stools ever since he has been with us, not a single normal one. I will spare the details of what that means. We have treated him with meds three times now for two different parasites and have him on a vitamin with iron. The meds made it worse but even after there has been no improvement. He also tested positive for a actual human growth hormone deficiency. The IAC only picked up on it because when I reported what I thought was his "real" age to the IAC and gave them his growth record from the orphanage they charted it and noticed that he has not been making steady growth in height. He is only at or below the 5th percentile. He was also at the 5th percentile in weight at his last measurement at the orphanage but has already gained a whopping 6 pounds in the last 2 months so he is up to the 25th percentile in weight. We will be following up with a endocrinologist but hope that with improved nutrition he will start producing growth hormone again. We will have to do another stool sample (our 4th!) to see if the nasty parasites are finally gone and we are waiting on his Hep C test result because despite it being negative in Rwanda it came back inconclusive in the US. We are filling him with probiotics and have him on a limited diet in the hopes that his intestinal lining just needs repair. Most likely we will probably be seeing a gastro doc to further investigate the stomach problem. I am worried that untill his digestive problems are taken care of his growth will not improve.

Attachment/Bonding: While in Rwanda he went through a phase of rejecting mom and wanting only dad to hold him. He also did not want to be carried in the Ergo towards the end of our trip however now that we are home he is showing a mild preference to mom since I am home with him and he rides in the Ergo no problem when needed. He still seems to be a little insecure as he will go through phases of wanting to be held all the time and being very demanding. At home he continues to want to be right at my side and will follow me from room to room when I am doing chores. We have not really noticed anything of concern or out of the ordinary for what would be expected the first few months home.

Sleep: This is the biggest challenge at this point. He will lay down easily beside me for a nap but at bedtime he becomes very hypervigilent. He will not stay in his own bed which I expected. In one attempt we put the side back on the crib (currently set up like a toddler bed) and he immediately completed a expert swing out of the crib! In Rwanda, Ethiopia and the first few weeks home he slept in bed with us all night. I then started moving him into his own bed in his sister's room after falling asleep but he started having night terrors and waking up. So now his bed in in our room and I roll him over after he falls asleep. The hope is that he will get more and more used to his bed and develop enough trust that he can eventually fall asleep in his own bed and move him to the other room.

Behaviors: He is definitely a toddler and is demanding in that if he wants something he will yell right away or have a tantrum. He also is fairly active and gets into everything in the house, I mean EVERYTHING. He has put my make-up on, tried washing towels down the toilet, dumped the food out of the fridge, crawls in the dryer and tries to shut himself in. Thankfully we found a special lock for the dryer but it seems that no amount of safety proofing would be enough as he has figured out how to open the cabinet locks. The doorknob covers have helped the most in simply keeping him out of certain rooms. That said he is also very playful and has a good sense of humor. He prefers to play with others and does not like being by himself (a good sign actually). When he does have a trantrum he gets over it quickly and will want to be picked up and comforted.
Similarities between adoption experiences:

• Both went through a phase in country, the first few days in our custody where there was little eye contact, not a lot of activity, very reserved and very few attempts at communication. I suppose we could call this the "afraid because they just gave me to these crazy strangers phase"!
• Both went through a honeymoon phase the first few weeks home, sleeping all night (probably because they were so tired) and overall few behavior problems. Then moved into testing the limits and being afraid to fall asleep on own or to sleep in own bed the first few months home.
• Both began repeating and then spontaneously using English words a few weeks simply from being exposed fully to a new language and without any direct teaching.

So there it is, if you are adopting a toddler and want to know what to expect, both of our experiences have been pretty similar except our son is much more active and gets into things a whole lot more requiring a lot of intervention. Our daughter did not have the stomach problems but was also treated for parasites. She was also tiny, looked to be the age that they said (2/3) but with a dental and developmental exam we confirmed that she was at least 2 years older (just lost her 7/8 year front teeth at her now corrected age of 6). So makes me wonder if she also had a growth hormone deficiency but the docs never tested her for it. Yes, you live and learn as a adoptive parent!

Holiday and Birthday Recap

We have been home for 12 days and during that time we have celebrated Christmas, my 35th birthday, New Year's Eve, and Kwanza (today). All this while making two visits for Leo to the doctor and battling severe jet lag. The adjustment to the time change was way harder then I would have ever imagined. It took a full week to get our bodies back into the sleep cycle appropriate for our time zone. As far as the doctor's visits we are still awaiting the results of a lovely stool sample to try and find out why Leo's BMs are so bad that they clear the entire house. Then the little guy came down with a case of mild croup on the 27th, the night of my birthday. Neither of my other kidos have ever had croup but thanks to hearing stories from other moms, I was able to recognize the seal sounding cough and 103 temperature and knew what to do at 1am. All the holiday activities combined with family being in town has made it a bit challenging to get a nap schedule going. But our new little man is adjusting very well. He is funny, energetic, loving, and talkative (in Kinyarwanda) and he seems to have a special talent for dancing and smiling.

Amongst all this excitement I have been trying to accept the fact that I am now 35 years old. For many women who I have counseled in the past turning 30 or 35 was a really hard stage for them. It is all to easy for me to focus on all the things that I should have accomplished by now. I should have a bigger house, I should not still be commuting to work, I should live in a nicer city, bla, bla, bla. So I have tried instead to do a mental check-in of where I am really at in my life. I guess I have accomplished more then I give myself credit for. I managed my way through BS, MS, and PhD programs in psychology and I have the whopping school loans to prove it! I have obtained a successful career with a decent paycheck. I have presented at professional conferences and been involved in professional organizations. I have vacationed throughout the US, Mexico, Canada, and Puerto Rico and have traveled to Africa twice. But my most important accomplishments are that I have been married to my best friend for 10 years and I am a mother to three amazing children. Every single one of my children are a miracle. My son, the only pregnancy out of 6 to survive to childbirth. My daughter, who has completely recovered from severe malnutrition and devastating loss. And my newest son, who you would never know spent the last two years pf his young life in a orphanage. Their talent and resilience are my best Christmas and Birthday presents, and my best inspiration to keep expanding my boundaries well into the next 50 years.

Ramblings on 9 pounds 12 ounces

That is the weight of my eldest son at his birth. He turned nine today. It is hard for me to believe that it was 9 years ago today that I was scheduled to be induced into labor. I remember the day very vividly, as if it was yesterday. In just his style, he was one week overdue, but finally very early in the morning the labor pains started without medical intervention. However, 10 hours later he still had not made his appearance, then at hour 15 of labor with incredible back pains the doc finally decided that a C-section was necessary. To every one's astonishment, he was born much bigger then expected. Turns out he was not in the correct position, thus with every labor pain his shoulder was ramming into my tailbone. I remember those first hours, days, weeks of complete exhaustion. There were moments when I never thought I would get to sleep a full-night again, yet alone eat a meal without interruption. You see he did not want to part from me and in my inexperience I did not think of buying something like a baby sling. I often find myself thinking of what I could have done differently. Had I known then that he was a "miracle" baby, the only one out of six pregnancies who would make it, would I have done things differently? Maybe, maybe not. I am glad that I did not know because I would have been more likely to overprotect him, to shelter him so closely that he would not be the person who he is today. He has grown into a remarkably intelligent boy, sometimes immature in his behavior but most often wise beyond his years in his thoughts. Tonight at dinner he was talking about what he would like to be when he grows up. You see he wants to build himself a house made out of Legos (of course he saw this in a book) and become a millionaire. I was a bit concerned by this, but when we pointed out that money is the not the key to happiness or the whole point of life, he clarified that he would use the money to help people, not to spend it on frivolous things. He then went on to explain how he is going to be a scientist who creates chemicals to save people and the environment. Hmm, I am liking this strain of thought. Then I ask my daughter what will she be when she grows up and she very confidently states to me that she is going to be a doctor who works in a hospital. I believe her. In her young life she has experienced pain which most of us cannot imagine and as a result she is strong willed, compassionate, intelligent, and there is not much that she is afraid of. I am sad that I was not there when she or Leo were born. That I do not have pictures of them as babies, that I cannot report the same memories to them that I can to my son on his birthday. But I can tell them what a miracle they are and how much their birth family loved them and we can guess together what they must have been like as babies. Because I understand that they are all miracles. Every single child on this earth, they are all here for a reason.

Snow Days!

Yes, we have been granted not just one but two snow days in October! I knew that there was a snow storm headed our way when I left work on Tuesday but I was surprised to receive a very early phone call this morning that the school district that both my husband and I work for had cancelled school. Our kids still had school today at their schools but all of us have been granted another day off tomorrow. Honestly we have been so heavily affected by the H1N1 flu in our area of CO that I think this is a big relief to many teachers and parents to get a few days to catch up on some rest and to stay safe and warm. As far as we go this has been such a emotional roller coaster of a week as we await our referral that I am so grateful to have a few days to "nest" at home. I think playing in the snow, drinking cocoa, and baking cookies will definitely be on the agenda tomorrow! I have not loaded our snow pics yet so here are some cool ones from the news.

Big Girl Birthday

Our little princess turned 6 today. It is amazing to me how much she has grown in the last 19 months. Especially since we learned that she was older then we thought. The whole age thing really has turned out to be a miracle in disguise. Being only 2 1/2 years younger then her brother has worked out great because they (usually) get along so well. Since it was a Monday it was a busy night but she really wanted to celebrate her birthday on its new date. So we went to Chuck E Cheese Pizza where we played lots of games, danced with Chuck E, ate pizza and cake, and opened presents. Then after putting the kids to bed I got to finish writing a huge report for work. O.k. I am tired now. Sleep well all my children, those here and those waiting to be here. You are in our thoughts!

Fields of Vegetables

Today we went as a family to a Harvest Festival at Miller's Farm located in Platteville, CO. If you live in the area of northern Colorado this is a great deal. Your admission includes all the activities such as the corn maze, barrel train rides, bouncy thing, and feeding the goats. But the main attraction to Miller's Farm is the vegetable picking. Your whole family jumps on a hayride type trailer pulled by a tractor and they take you out to the fields. You get to stop at each section where different crops are grown and you can pick up to six 20 pound bags per person in your family. For us that calculates out to 24 bags or 480 pounds of vegetables. We spent over 4 hours in the fields and picked corn, peppers, cabbage, broccoli, leeks, onions, zucchini, cucumbers, pumpkins, gourds, red potatoes, kohlrabi, turnips, and carrots. Thankfully they have a zillion little metal wagons that you get to use to transport the bags of vegetables from the trailer drop-off point to your car in the parking lot. We actually ran out of time at one spot and ended up picking two fewer bags then our allotted amount, but oh well, we now have a TON of vegetables to store, freeze, and can. So we are stocked with vegetables and had a great day of fun in the sun for only $50 (their price for a family of four). Check them out at http://www.millerfarms.net/

And did I mention that we also have a garden at home and I have already canned pickles and countless bushels of plums from the young and prolific plum tree? What am I thinking, it is not as if I have a ton of time on my hands to be acting like Ms. Homemaker. However, I have a soft spot for whole foods and after all my current and future childrens' health just might depend on it.

Computers and Smoke, Oh My!

O.k. I am having computer problems and I HATE computer problems. We have a laptop which is mostly used for work and a desktop which we all use at home. Recently our Internet connection on the desktop became really slow after a pop-up program called "MyFreeze" started appearing. We have three different anti-virus and anti-spyware programs on the computer and none of them can get rid of this thing. Then unfortunately when I went to get on the internet on the desktop the other night there was no accessible web page despite the internet connection being all good. So to make a long story short I am obsessing over how to fix the problem and have not come up with a solution yet. Even if I get rid of the Spyware problem how do I get the internet browser to work again? Any suggestions?

On a side note, I am praying for everyone in CO who has asthma or weak respitory systems. We woke up to a cloudy sky which at first I thought meant cold weather and then my son pointed out that the sun was bright red. Turns out the sky today had a eary haze to it from the wild fires burning all the way from California, which made it look cloudy all day and caused the morning sun to take on a strange red glow. It still smells outside like a giant bomb fire. Needless to say it is not helping my son or husband any who have allergies.

Transitions and No News

Well we are busy this week going back to work for the school year, myself as a school psychologist and my husband as a high school AP Science teacher. Our son starts third grade on Thursday and our daughter starts kindergarten next Monday. I wish Colorado did not start school so early as August is truly our hottest and sunniest month in CO. I am sad to say that we have heard no news on our precious 11 year old dog. As I replay the story of her dissaperance I am now convinced that she was taken. And most likely taken by somone with the intention of keeping or selling her untill they realized how old she was. She has a collar on with ID tags and phone numbers. It makes no sense to me why they would not have called us by now. I continue to pray that she is in safe hands and that they did not choose to dispose of her. We may never know what her fate was but hopefully with time I can find some form of peace and acceptance. On another note, we have had no news on the adoption. With recent bad luck falling upon our family it is all to easy for me to think the worst, that is, that when we finally get a call it will be to say that we were not approved for this or that reason. If this happens we will be out much money which we cannot spare and many many months of waiting. The crib is set up in my daughter's room and she is now asking "Why is it taking so long". I have no good answer for her because I don't understand it either. It would break my heart if I had to explain to my children that we will be needing to switch countries, redo paperwork, and start the waiting all over again. I am working hard to maintaine my confidence and to think positive despite all of these reservations. I am not one to believe that God is meant to answer every single one of our prayers or that with faith all things will work out, on the contrary I think that misfortunes happen for a reason, some lesson perhaps that we need to learn. After all: "God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called."

Need Eyes and Prayers

Our beloved 11 year old female English Setter has gone missing. My husband was fly-fishing along the Poudre River by the Poudre Picnic area just west of LaPort, CO and near Fort Collins, CO on Sunday 8/2. He had just crossed the river with her and turned around to retrieve our other dog and his belongings. She was there at the bank waiting for him and then just like that she was gone. From what he described she was lost between the river and just up the hill would be a parking lot and the highway. Both sides, going east or west she would have been trapped by picnic areas. He immediately went to the parking lot and she was not there. He then spent the next 6 hours searching the area and talking to nearly 100 people who were picnicking, fishing, and swimming. No one saw her running along the river, on the road, or floating down the current. There were no traces of a dog being hit on the highway. He describes that there was a group of men fishing with bobbers (not something you do on the river there) in the same area where the dog was waiting and that they disappeared the same time as she. I don't want to ever think that someone would take a dog on purpose but I am now starting to wonder. She is ten years old and spayed, but looks and acts much younger when she is happy and in the mountains. She loves fishing with my husband and has never left his side. We purchased her as newly weds, she was there when our son was born, and there to comfort our daughter when she came home last year. She is the gentlest dog I have ever met. It is breaking my heart not knowing where she is and if she is being taken care of. She has a collar with our phone number and the number to the vet on yet no one has called and no reports have come in to any of the regional dog pounds. If she was picked up with good or bad intentions she could be anywhere in Colorado or Wyoming as people come from all over to fish the Poudre River. I know she is just a dog, but she is a important part of our family and I hope that she could spend the last few years of her life with us. So please pray for us and if you are in CO or WY please keep a eye out for found dog adds or even for sale dog adds. She is a medium dog and skinny with aging hips and very bad hearing, she is white with black spots and her name is Spring. I am out of town but trying to make as many phone calls and internet searches of papers and pounds as possible. Please Lord let her be safe and in good hands.

Summer Fun!

Our version of boating in the mountains.

Pets and Popsicles at the Plumb Farm.

At the park in Fort Collins.

Posing with the Wizard of Oz musical cast.

Taking a break at the "Taste of Africa" orphan and adoption fundraiser.

Our master fly fisherman.

Hiking in the Rockies with the dogs.

Steer at the Greeley Stampede 4th of July parade.

Kids showing off at the parade.
Roasting marshmallows in the backyard.
Ethan building one of many huge sandcastles at the Loveland beach.

Working hard at our rummage sale.

Admission

O.k. I admit I am experiencing a moment of fatigue and frustration. Typically summers are filled with just hanging out and having fun with the kids. But for some reason this summer has flown by. It has become what I am calling the "summer of service". Between summer jobs, volunteer service, and prepping for fundraising time has just gone to fast. There have also been moments when all that I do feels fruitless. I put alot of time into applying for several adoption grants and all we continue to receive are rejection letters. I was really hoping we would at least receive support from "Show Hope" but today I received their rejection letter as well. Maybe we make to much money, which is hard to believe given that we are lower middle class, or maybe we are just not the right type of people if you know what I mean. Whatever the reason it is still frustrating. Now I am not saying that I am not fully aware of how blessed I am in my life, but everyone now and then I still get frustrated like everyone else.

Simplifying our House

We have to much stuff. As I have spent the last several weeks cleaning out drawers and closets I am just amazed at how much stuff we have, and we don't even have what most would consider a large house. I never really realized just how much stuff we Americans have until going to Ethiopia. It is really ridiculous. So we are having a rummage sale this weekend. To be honest I hate rummage sales, they are alot of work and where we live you just don't make much money. People will haggle you till you can't stand it anymore. But every penny counts right now so the sale is on. I can't wait to have some of this out of my house. We are making room in our middle level living room to turn it into a playroom and then we will be able to set up the crib in our daughter's room. She is excited to share her room as she has never liked sleeping alone and most likely neither will our new son or daughter. Children sleeping alone in rooms is a very western practice. So anyways off I go to sort and price. Most likely when it is all over I will hang up a free sign and give the remainders all away.