Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I don't particularly enjoy change, I am a creature of habit. I do however understand that change is a part of life. Actually, maybe it is not necessarily change that I do not like, but the kind of change that is out of my control. I love change that involves the expansion of our family as well as our horizons. I had no fears about adopting either of our children or traveling on a plane for 18 hours to the other end of the world to visit unfamiliar countries with bags full of donations. So why is it that the idea of moving my family 2 hours away gives me extreme anxiety? Oh, yeah this is all coming about because of good news. My husband was offered a new teaching position at a "well to do" charter school in a Denver area suburb. Problem is that the school is not within a commuting distance, well not unless we want him to spend 4 hours a day driving. The thing is, it really is about time that we move. We have grown beyond a comfortable size for our home and I am eager to be closer to more cultural activities for my kids. The problem with all of this is that the economy in CO still sucks. If we are lucky we will sell our house by the end of the summer and break even. Of course the flip side of this is that it is a buyers market so truly I should be excited about the fact that we may be able to walk into a very large home in a nice neighborhood for a reasonable price. The blessing is that we both have the summer of to enjoy it with our kids and take care of all this. I also have come across a oppurtunity to do a short mission trip to Haiti to assist children and staff at a orphanage with trauma. I really want to go but have not comitted as there are so many unknowns for my family right now. it is times like this that I have to remind myself to sit back, take a deep breath and remember that God does really have a plan for me. When I was going through the last miscarriage a kind fellow adoptive mom commented that God must have big plans for me, to trust me with so much heartache. Perhaps she is right, I just wish it was not so hard and that I knew the outcome.