Saturday, November 28, 2009
Ramblings on 9 pounds 12 ounces
That is the weight of my eldest son at his birth. He turned nine today. It is hard for me to believe that it was 9 years ago today that I was scheduled to be induced into labor. I remember the day very vividly, as if it was yesterday. In just his style, he was one week overdue, but finally very early in the morning the labor pains started without medical intervention. However, 10 hours later he still had not made his appearance, then at hour 15 of labor with incredible back pains the doc finally decided that a C-section was necessary. To every one's astonishment, he was born much bigger then expected. Turns out he was not in the correct position, thus with every labor pain his shoulder was ramming into my tailbone. I remember those first hours, days, weeks of complete exhaustion. There were moments when I never thought I would get to sleep a full-night again, yet alone eat a meal without interruption. You see he did not want to part from me and in my inexperience I did not think of buying something like a baby sling. I often find myself thinking of what I could have done differently. Had I known then that he was a "miracle" baby, the only one out of six pregnancies who would make it, would I have done things differently? Maybe, maybe not. I am glad that I did not know because I would have been more likely to overprotect him, to shelter him so closely that he would not be the person who he is today. He has grown into a remarkably intelligent boy, sometimes immature in his behavior but most often wise beyond his years in his thoughts. Tonight at dinner he was talking about what he would like to be when he grows up. You see he wants to build himself a house made out of Legos (of course he saw this in a book) and become a millionaire. I was a bit concerned by this, but when we pointed out that money is the not the key to happiness or the whole point of life, he clarified that he would use the money to help people, not to spend it on frivolous things. He then went on to explain how he is going to be a scientist who creates chemicals to save people and the environment. Hmm, I am liking this strain of thought. Then I ask my daughter what will she be when she grows up and she very confidently states to me that she is going to be a doctor who works in a hospital. I believe her. In her young life she has experienced pain which most of us cannot imagine and as a result she is strong willed, compassionate, intelligent, and there is not much that she is afraid of. I am sad that I was not there when she or Leo were born. That I do not have pictures of them as babies, that I cannot report the same memories to them that I can to my son on his birthday. But I can tell them what a miracle they are and how much their birth family loved them and we can guess together what they must have been like as babies. Because I understand that they are all miracles. Every single child on this earth, they are all here for a reason.