I Passed!

Today at 11am I defended my dissertation to my graduate committee. This was the last major step required for me to complete my dissertation. I presented my research and answered questions for just under 2 hours. I was really tired at the end and had a headache so I don't think I looked too excited about passing at the time! I am definitely relieved to have the whole experience over with. I need to make some corrections to the paper and then it will be off to the graduate school. Even though I won't be actually receiving my degree until this summer, I will be able to walk through the graduation ceremony on May 8th. So time to start planning for the party!

Surprise from Rwanda

I was so excited to receive a letter from the boy who we sponsor in Rwanda through the organization World Vision. He is not much older then my own son and we are learning that they have several interests in common. We also received a packet from World Vision that we can fill out and send to him for his 9th birthday in June, but I would like to see if we can purchase a small gift for him. Maybe a soccer ball? Since my son is now pretty good at writing I am going to sit down with him to help him write a letter back. Who knows, maybe they can even meet each other when we travel to Rwanda? Child sponsorship is really a great experience. I know that our money is being put to good use and that it is helping to ensure that he will receive a education, in addition to illness prevention and health education, because he lives in a area highly affected by HIV and malaria.

Big Birds

The soccer fields where the "parks and recreation" soccer games are held, are on the edge of town, by a small river. It was a cold morning on our way to the soccer game on Saturday at 9am when we passed the pond by the river and I saw something and yelled "Stop! Kids look at the birds!". Not only was the pond filled with large Pelicans but there was a Great Blue Heron on the shore and then came flying in a beautiful American Bald Eagle who spooked the Great Blue Heron and landed on the ground. It then flew up again circled around and landed in the tree. By the time I got the camera out I had missed the pic of it with it's wings spread in the air but did get a blurry shot of it in the tree. It must have been a good morning for fishing. So after marveling at the birds we made it to the game which turned out to be cold, but as usual Tensae did great.

Count Malaria Out!

Today, April 25th, is "World Malaria Day". It is a day, across the world, meant to raise awareness of a very deadly but entirely preventable disease. This is one that I feel passionate about because so many children are affected by it throughout the world and I know that my own daughter was personally impacted. Here are some facts on Malaria as posted on the website of the World Health Organization. You can visit their website for more information at http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/malaria/en/index.html

WHO March 2009: Facts on Malaria
About 3.3 billion people - half of the world's population - are at risk of malaria.
Every year, this leads to about 250 million malaria cases and nearly one million deaths. People living in the poorest countries are the most vulnerable.
Malaria is especially a serious problem in Africa, where one in every five (20%) childhood deaths is due to the effects of the disease. An African child has on average between 1.6 and 5.4 episodes of malaria fever each yearAnd every 30 seconds a child dies from malaria.

To watch a video about the impact of Malaria and to take action by writing to your government representatives or to purchase bed nets for families in affected countries go to:
http://endmalaria.org/

We have purchased a preventative malaria net for a family of 5, through CALM Ministries in Rwanda. You can do the same by going to:
https://npo.networkforgood.org/Donate/Donate.aspx?npoSubscriptionId=1001273&code=NHH09

You can also purchase bed nets to be delivered to the highest area of need through the organization "Nothing But Nets" at:
http://www.nothingbutnets.net

Emotions

Our paperwork has been in Rwanda for two weeks and already it feels like forever, although I certainly know from past experience that two weeks is a drop in the bucket. As I was admiring a coworker who is several months pregnant, it struck me yesterday just how different and the same the adoption experience is from the pregnancy experience. I have been through both so I have found myself making comparisons without even realizing it. I would say that certainly both experiences brought on a rollercoaster of emotions. On the one hand it is a little more reassuring to know that your child is inside of you growing. You are right there to feel the kicks and turns, and this was certainly the case with my son who was a very busy and BIG baby. I knew every minute that he was there and o.k. BUT there are certainly unknowns with pregnancy and I was just as filled with fear that something would go wrong. Would he be o.k., would the labor be o.k., what if I did something wrong? The what, if, and how’s can become overwhelming at times. And so it also is with the adoption experience. I don't know if my future child/children are o.k. or what their needs are and I have no way of "checking in" on them. So in some ways it is the same, whether pregnancy or adoption, there are no guarantees and my love for my children is overwhelmingly the same. I have not met my next child/children but I already would do anything within my power to take care of them. What is different is the invisibility of the experience. I work with a teacher who is expecting and just started showing. Now everyone knows she is pregnant and they all know what to expect and when. But when I tell people I am adopting they don't really know what to say and of course at this point I don't know when, how, or who. And so I wait and I go through the emotions and preparation on a more silent scale but no less important or powerful then a visible pregnancy.

Thoughts on Earth Day

How interesting that today, on Earth Day, I came home to "flowers, frogs, and the smell of cow poop". Yes my bulbs survived our recent cold weather and rain and are flowing with all their splendor and strength. And the ditch by our house seems to have been overtaken by frogs. Now I have no idea where they came from but there are so many that you can hear their ribeting from blocks away! And you might be wondering what the smell is about? Well we live in a certain part of CO that smells like cow poop when the wind occasionally blows in just the right direction. It used to really bother me, but now I seemed to be used to it. Last summer my daughter kept saying to me "Where are the cows?!" So we might have to take a drive to see the mysterious smelly cows.

Speaking of cows, in my Earth Day research it appears that we would save a whole lot of energy, in the USA, if as a country we ate less meat. I took a test to determine my own "ecological footprint" and it was very eye opening. I have always thought of my family as fairly environmentally friendly, as my husband is a biologist/ecologist. We recycle everything we can, we have replaced our light bulbs with high efficiency bulbs, we grow a garden and eat all our left over food. But it appears that there is so much more that we could be doing. To take the test yourself go to: http://earthday.net/footprint/

Soccer and Sales

Finally a soccer game! Tensae started peewee soccer a month ago but because we have had so many cold and rainy days the first three games were cancelled. This has been really unusual weather for CO, but we sure did need all the rain and snow for a nice green spring. Thankfully the parks and rec department decided that was enough with cancelling soccer games and they held the first game indoors. Nothing beats watching peewee soccer! Most of the game consisted of the kids falling on top of each other because they do not yet grasp the whole idea of kicking the ball to another person. Tiny little Tensae was fearless! It was a also a great day for her entrepreneur brother. He would like to go with us on our next trip to Rwanda and Ethiopia which means we need to raise more money. When I offered to buy candy bars and help him sell them he jumped at the chance to show off his skills. He sold 36 candy bars in 1 hour at the game! He gets bored just watching at these things, so this worked out great. Now I am fully aware that there is no way he will earn enough money for a plane ticket to Africa by selling candy bars (unless he sells 75 boxes!), but it is still really nice to see him so committed and proud of himself for contributing.

Easter

I can't believe that this Easter was Tensae's second Easter celebration with us. Our time with her has already gone so fast. I can barely remember what life was like without two children in our home. We spent the week with our attendance at a traditional Passover dinner at church (a great experience if you have never done this) and a touching Easter service when all the kids at church held a processional of flowers. And of course we colored Easter eggs and had several Easter egg hunts as well! I really enjoyed our minister's service on Sunday. In the back of my head I keep hearing a summary of his words. Now I don't have it exact but here is what I remember: "I have chosen to live my life as if I believe...and most often I get it more wrong then right....but most importantly I believe that Love will prevail." It seems that this year I can really relate to this message. I am by no means perfect, either, far from it, but I do believe in the power of Love over darkness and this is a choice that I have willfully made in my life. I am grateful that in this last year I have seen the miracle first hand in our son and daughter, whose very name means "Resurrection".

Good Morning Rwanda

It is 5:35 am in Rwanda and I now feel like there is a piece of me there. We received word today that our dossier had arrived safely in Rwanda. After the many months of paper chasing, appointments, fees, notarizing, and certifying; the final set of documents are where they need to be. We probably will not know for many months whether we will be adopting a boy or girl, one or two children but already I love him/her/them very much. I am officially "psychologically pregnant".

15 Years Ago

This week marks 15 years since the start of the genocide in Rwanda. I have mixed feelings about posting this because there are so many pieces of wonderful culture and beauty in Rwanda that has been overshadowed by the genocide. However, I think that the 15 year mark is important to acknowledge and I still believe that not enough worldwide attention has been given to the history of this event. My opinion is that only by understanding history can we ensure that it happens "never again". I recently read the book titled, "We Wish to Inform You that Tommorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families" by Philip Gourevitch. It was a emotionally difficult read but a highly informative recount of the events before, during, and after the genocide. In the preface Gourevitch summarizes that:

"Decimation means the killing of every tenth person in a population, and in the spring and early summer of 1994 a program of massacres decimated the Republic of Rwanda. Although the killing was low tech-performed largely by machete-it was carried out at a dazzling speed: of an original population of about seven and a half million, at least eight hundred thousand people were killed in just a hundred days. Rwandans often speak of a million deaths, and they may be right. The dead of Rwanda accumulated at nearly three times the rate of Jewish dead during the Holocaust. It was the most efficient mass killing since the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagaski."

Now I realize that this is not a easy subject to discuss or even think about in our fairly peaceful lives. However, I can only assume, that the genocide is very real to anyone living in or related to the country of Rwanda. I think we owe them the same respect in honoring the memorial as we give to the victims of the Holocaust. We can also learn alot from this tiny country. In my own research, so far, I am truly amazed at the steps and progress that they have made in achieving peace, restoring the country's infrastructure, and increasing education and medical care to their citizens. Obviously there is still a lot of work to be done and there are many ways that we can help. For more information click on the following links:

News article on today's Candle Lighting Memorial in Kigali:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-morgan/stars-light-candles-for-r_b_183791.html

Genocide commemoration website:
http://rwanda15.org/spip.php?rubrique1

Information on the genocide memories located in Rwanda:
http://www.museum.gov.rw/

Amazing News and Timelines

In the last week not one, but all three families, who we know, who have been approved by Rwanda to adopt have received their referrals. My thoughts are with them as they learn about their newly accepted children, as they mourn for the losses that their children have experienced, but also as they celebrate the joy of being able to provide a home for these children. And to top off the news I called our family coordinator today and to my surprise found out that our dossier has been authenticated by both the state and Rwanda Embassy in D.C. and is at this very moment on it's way to Rwanda. It is expected to arrive by the end of the week, then our agency's facilitator will pick it up and deliver it to the Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion. From there the wait time for approval may be between 2 and 6 months. If and when we are approved by the Ministry and they choose a orphanage for us to adopt from, the orphanage will match us with our child or children. Once matched the necessary tests will be completed and we will receive a referral in 2 to 6 weeks. After we accept the referral then the adoption will need to be approved in Rwanda court. This last step may take 4-6 weeks and then we will travel. Of course the timelines are rough estimates. I am feeling very at peace with it and know that things will happen as they are intended to. "For everything there is a time and place...."

Happy Tartan Day!

My ancestry is nearly 50% Scottish. My maternal uncle has researched and documented our family history and a few of the more well known names that prop up include the Caldwell's (http://caldwellgenealogy.com/caldwell.html), and the Stewart's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Stuart). Going back 13 generations of my maternal family history you will find John Stark of Killermont, Scotland. Here is a picture of the Killermont house: http://gdl.cdlr.strath.ac.uk/smihou/smihou064.htm which is now used as a clubhouse and administrative office for the Glasgow Golf Club. I think that all this history is interesting, however, I never knew untill this week, that there was a national Scottish day in the US. I actually discovered this while reading the blog of a fellow Ethiopian adoptive mother. One of her sons plays the bagpipe (very cool hobby for a teenager!). You can check it out on the blog titled "The Zoo" under my Ethiopian adoption blog links. So anyways yes today is national Tartan Day and I am so dissapointed because there is a big celebration in the Denver area but we were slammed with a sleet/snow/wind storm last night and the wind is still going strong. So not so ideal weather to be driving two kids to the Tartan Day festivities. You can learn about national Tartan Day and each states events at http://www.tartanday.org/ The Colorado Tartan Day website is at http://www.coloradotartanday.com/

A Voice of Reason

So I have been somewhat following the Madonna international adoption controvery as she attempts to adopt a second child from Malawi. Because I am not aware of all the details, and neither are the media, I am going to refrain from judging her. I will say however that it is imperative that adoptive families follow and respect the rules, regulation, and culture from any country that they are adoptiong from. Unfortunately these issue are what Madonna is being questioned on and as a bi-product the media is again presenting international adoption, as a whole, as a controversial process. I think this is very unfortunate because you just cannot compare any single adoption situation to another, yet alone any country's processes to another. I am the first to say that I fully understand that adoption is not the answer to to solving any single country's orphan crisis, but no one can deny that, there are in fact countless, children throughout the world growing up in orphanages and this is not in the best interest of the child. I also believe that families who adopt should be doing so for the "right" reasons, should be fully educated about adoption, be committed to teaching their adopted child/ren about their home country, and understand the complexities of becoming a interacial family. So back to my original intent of this post; I received a CNN news notice today of a short article in which Mellissa Fay Greene, author and mother of 5 adopted children, was interviewed about her thoughts on the issue. In summary it is REALLY nice to see a "voice of reason" being interviewed for once. You can read the article here:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/04/03/madonna.reaction.adoption.malawi/index.html

Eyes on Fargo, ND

While enjoying the sun in Arizona with my children I was fully aware and feeling a bit guilty as I followed what was happening across the country in Fargo, ND. Yes, Fargo is a special place to me for many reasons and I was reminded of it today when I received a email from North Dakota State University Alumni Association. NDSU is where my husband and I met and where I completed my first psychology degree. My parents both grew up in Fargo, ND; they met and got married there. I was born in Fargo, ND and after moving away to get my Masters degree in Minnesota and then, moving back for a short time, my son was born at the same hospital in Fargo as I. I often tell him stories of how he was born in a winter in which Fargo was on many days the coldest place in the country (with the windshield). While I do not miss those winters at all, I know that growing up in North Dakota (we moved to Bismarck when I was one) very much shaped the person who I am today.

As I was reading my alumni email, the irony of the flood struck me. I graduated with my BS degree from NDSU in May 1997. That same spring the Fargo, ND and Grand Forks, ND areas (among others) experienced what was called a 100 year flood. See video of the 1997 flood at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNC9dj9ekLI

I remember class being cancelled at all the local universities and us going out and volunteering to sandbag. In Grand Forks, the univseristy (UND) shut down and final exams were cancelled. Schools and homes were flooded but thanks to lots of hard working volunteers many were also saved. The communities seemed lucky to me to have so many willing and able young adults from the universities to spend days filling, loading, and stacking up sandbags.

So here comes the irony, I am graduating this May with my PhD and Fargo has once again experienced a serious flood. I have many extended family members in Fargo who are thankfully safe and sound. I think it is hard to imagine what a flood looks like in a area of the country that most people think of as extremely rural, however, the Fargo/Moorhead region is a growing city of over 250,000 people. The email from NDSU included a couple interesting websites as reposted here:

"NDSU alumnus, Lee Hoedl,’85, has captured the essence of this past week via video and music. http://www.youtube.com/user/leehoedl

Photos and other flood information links http://www.ndsu.edu/; http://www.cityoffargo.com/; http://www.in-forum.com/"