So many conflicting emotions going on right now that I am not really sure what to say. I will keep the personal stuff private for now. Just please be thinking about us and praying that my eyes remain open to the path that I am meant to take, for our family and for my career.
I will talk about one issue. Adopting a toddler age or older children is not easy! Seriously, if you are in the process of bringing a toddler or older child into your home please do not underestimate what you are getting into. You will experience amazing joy and extreme challenges along the journey. My youngest son is going through some struggles right now. Hard to say how much of it is being a high strung toddler, and how much of it is still adjusting, but it is to be expected. We went through similar "attachment bumps" with our daughter and while not easy to experience I know it will get better. We are approaching his one year anniversary home and it is common for adoptive parents to report that their kids act up around such times. I don't think he has a cognitive awareness of what is happenig but I do believe that things like Christmas decorations (smells and sights can trigger pre-cognitive memories) and chaotic schedules can throw everything out of wack. I spent Thanksgiving thankful for everything that I have and as usual with a heavy heart for those who I have seen and left behind on my travels.
As you know from my recent blog posts, my thoughts continue to be on Haiti. So much is happening there now. One of the newest children taken in at the orphanage, where my daughter is living, passed away this last week. The orphanage staff did everything they could to help this little guy, named Rudy. When their resources were depleted they took him to a hospital where he eventually passed on last Friday. You can read about little Rudy and see his picture here: http://www.mission82.blogspot.com/
It is hard for me to describe what my reaction to this news was. Frustration, anger, sadness, were all there but I am also grateful that there were loving arms to care for him at the end of his life. I am sad that he did not come to Maison sooner but well aware that he could have also died in very different circumstances. Anyway you put it, it is difficult to see but I accept that there is a bigger picture that I am not aware of in all of this.