Then like a bolt of lightening, as I take the time to actually sit quitely and listen. To really listen to myself and everything around me. I return to reality. And reality is, that no child whether adopted or biological needs a perfect parent and we cannot raise them in bubbles. Thinking back now to when I taught the Parenting with Love and Logic classes, I know this well. If we overprotect our kids, then we are not preparing them for the real world. This should be the same for adopted kids, probably even more so for minority kidos. The reality is that my African American children are going to face a world that is harsher and more judging then I had to face. I have already seen it, the way people look at them and the things that other kids say to them. I see them ache to be like everyone else. They need to learn to make good choices, to stand up for themselves, and to not copy what others do in a failed attempt to "fit in". Self-esteem does not come from being overprotected, it comes from being loved and at the same time being permitted to experience the world and take responsibility in small safe steps. I just wish that meant that I never had to watch them fall. Because, I am afraid to say that a few of my kids, when they fall, they fall big.
Why am I blubbering about this now? Because last Saturday, I watched my youngest son fall, literally. A trip to the ER confirmed that he needed four stiches for a gash under his chin.. He also likely had a concussion in addition to three loose teeth. Unfortunately, I don't think this will be Leo's last set of stitches. He also fell and cut his head open his first week home. He is just one of those very active little guys who are going to get hurt a lot. Now if I could raise him in a padded suit, helmet and chin guard it would save me a lot of heartache and money!