Vent-The Cost of Adoption

Why tonight I do not know, but I feel the need to vent about the cost of adoption. Why the heck is it so expensive? Why should it cost so much to give a forever family to a child who needs one? Of course the answer is complex and one that I do not feel like getting into. The thing that frustrates me is this, we have adopted two kids now both over the age of 3 at the time of their adoptions, and both with special needs. And now we are in process of adopting Vanessa, a 9 year old with a physical disability which will impact her for the rest of her life. Despite this we have not qualified for a single interest free loan, or grant program. I applied for several for both of our previous adoptions and we were denied, partly because of our income and partly for other reasons. What really irritates me about that is that the only reason our income is what it is, is because we both work. If we did not both work we would likely not make the required income guidelines to adopt a fourth child. Yet, this same fact eliminates us from receiving assistance? It does not matter what we pay in daycare or out of pocket expenses for a child who is in our care who does not yet qualify to be covered under our health insurance. Seriously, how is that fair? So how do we make ends meet, well we have lived very simply over the last 5 years. We seldom eat out, we do not have cable, our kids participate in very few activities that cost money (definitely no private lessons of any kind happening in our house), and we really never go out on dates. So what irritates me is when I see one income families who are adopting kids and receiving grants and yet they somehow have the money to go on vacations and put their kids in all kinds of activities. How does that add up? Seriously, am I missing something here? All my kids want to be in school, including our preschooler, so there really is no reason for one of us to stay home at this point, but maybe we would be better off if one of us just stopped working, then maybe we would actually get a adoption grant? It's a good experiment in Freakonomics, would we actually be better off financially by  getting more tax breaks and qualifying for grants if we were a one income family?